Toldain Talks

Because reading me sure beats working!


Toldain started as an Everquest character. I've played him in EQ2, WoW, Vanguard, LOTRO, and Zork Online. And then EVE Online, where I'm 3 million years old, rather than my usual 3000. Currently I'm mostly playing DDO. But I still have fabulous red hair. In RL, I am a software developer who has worked on networked games, but not MMORPGS.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Willow Wood Weed

Marijuana was found preserved in the pouch of a Chinese shaman buried 2700 years ago in Turpan, in China's far west.

“The cannabis was presumably employed by this culture as a medicinal or psychoactive agent, or an aid to divination. To our knowledge, these investigations provide the oldest documentation of cannabis as a pharmacologically active agent, and contribute to the medical and archaeological record of this pre-Silk Road culture,” the abstract says.

No pipes, bongs or rolling papers were uncovered in the tomb of this wild and crazy guy.

I figure there's got to be plenty of weed in Norrath. C'mon, don't those wood elf druids seem like they should have beads and tie-dye to you? And hobbits. I mean, just look at them, don't they always seem to have the munchies? Come to think of it, try going in The Perfunctory Philosopher in Starcrest Commune sometime (but don't inhale). Doesn't the name Oolimeminoso Pindiliana just scream "weed" to you? As if the name Starcrest "Commune" wasn't a dead giveaway that the whole place was weed-infested. Those Erudites babble incessantly about expanding conciousness, now we know what they mean. I don't get a big weed vibe from Dwarfs and Barbarians. They'll never let anything take over ale's central place in their hearts, though an occasional fat one with the beer doesn't hurt.

The Frogloks as a rule, have a stick up their hindquarters about these kinds of things, not a day goes by that one of them doesn't lecture me about chivalry. Besides, I'll guess that the smoke drys out their skin.

Kerrans aren't so prudish, but they are just as likely to eat the weed as smoke it, since it reminds them of catnip. And we High Elves, well, weed just doesn't project the right image for us. It's pretty hard to be snooty when you're toked up, after all. Not that we don't do it sometimes when there aren't any humans or half-elves around.

Weed isn't technically legal in Qeynos, Antonius Bayle got a stash of really bad stuff back in the day, and its been outlawed ever since. But there are lots of loopholes, including "medicinal use" and "research" purposes. (We illusionists are keen to learn more about anything with "psychoactive" properties, you see.) Really, the Queen doesn't like the smell, and doesn't want the smoke wafting through the castle.

In Freeport, it's a different story. Lucan D'Lere will tolerate no weed-induced slackness amongst his citizens. They must be lean, mean and ready to fight at a moments notice. Can you imagine the raid leader calling "Pull in 10" and the defiler going, "Wow, that demon looks just like this little crease on my hand, I never noticed that before. Anybody got any flying fish casserole?"

A stroll through Big Bend should convince you that most Ogres indulge themselves regularly. I mean, the big guys practically define mellow. But they seem to be able to not let it affect their work. Trolls, I am told, think weed spoils the taste. After all, they say THC stays in the bloodstream forever. The thought of Dark Elves toking up gives me nightmares, though lord knows they could stand to mellow out a bit.

Now in Kelethin, I think they keep little weed incense sticks burning on the platforms. I mean, have you ever looked at the wings on the Fae? They look like they are the inspiration for Peter Max.

Which leaves Gnomes. Who could tell if they were using psychoactive drugs? How would they be any different? Although I'm guessing they don't use weed much. In my experience, people who smoke don't launch pies off of catapults at other pies launched from catapults, they eat them.

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Anonymous Karaya said...

Oh, sweet! Silk Road Online cheats! Thank you so much, moldyclothes! Christmas has come early this year!!!

ALSO! - Silk Road Online? WTF is that?

In other news:

I'm not really into weed. In my line of work, absolute alertness is the name of the game. Miss one beat and you're a stain on the ceiling. That's why I prefer coke. 4 out of 5 high powered, cut-throat lawyers recommend it! ;)

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Towlie said...

Oh man... I have no idea what's going on...

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Froglok Swashbuckler here. Let me tell you the REAL reason why Frogloks are not into this stuff. See this oily sheen to my skin? Psychotropic skin poison. We are a walking pharmacopia.

2:51 PM  

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